Simon lewis Quotes


Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.
"Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.

Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace.
"It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath."
"As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome," said Simon.
"I knew we should have left you a rat.

City of Bones

Cassandra Clare

City of Bones

Well, I’m not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I’d rather stay down here and rot."
"Forever?" said Simon. "Forever’s an awfully long time."
Jace raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me, don’t you?

City of Ashes

Cassandra Clare

City of Ashes

Isabelle drifted over, Jace a pace behind her. She was wearing a long black dress with boots and an even longer cutaway coat of soft green velvet, the color of moss. "I can't believe you did it!" she exclaimed. "How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?"
"Traded him for Alec," Clary said.
Isabelle looked mildly alarmed. "Not permanently?"
"No," said Jace. "Just for a few hours. Unless I don't come back," he added thoughtfully. "In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy."
Isabelle looked dubious. "Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out."
"That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?" Simon inquired. "No, probably not.

City of Ashes

Cassandra Clare

City of Ashes

That's why when major badasses greet each other in movies, they don't say anything, they just nod. The nod means, 'I' am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass,' but they don't say anything because they're Wolverine and Magneto and it would mess up their vibe to explain.

City of Bones

Cassandra Clare

City of Bones

No. That's Clary; shes's my best friend." Simon pocketed his phone. "And she has a boyfriend. Like, really, really, really has a boyfriend. The nuclear bomb of boyfriends. Trust me on this one.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

So what was that all about?"
"I think," Jace said, "that she asked if she could touch my mango."
"She
said
that?"
Jace shrugged. "Yeah, then she gave me her number.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is."
"It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy," said Alec. "You just said "Kiss the cook."
"Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me.

Look," Luke went on, "In all the years I've known him, there's always been exactly one place Simon wanted to be, and he's always fought like hell to make sure he got there and stayed there."
"Where's that?"
"Wherever you were.

City of Ashes

Cassandra Clare

City of Ashes

Is this Clarissa Fray?" The voice on the other end of the phone sounded familiar, though not immediately identifiable.
Clary twirled the phone cord nervously around her finger. "Yeees?"
"Hi, I'm one of the knife-carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? I"m afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a chance to make it up to-"
"SIMON!" Clary held the phone away from her ear as he cracked up laughing. "That is so not funny!"
"Sure it is. You just don't see the humor."
"Jerk." Clary sighed, leaning up against the wall.

City of Bones

Cassandra Clare

City of Bones
Clary fray    Humor    Joke    Phone    Simon lewis    Tease

You're not gay, are you?"
Simon's greenish color deepened. "If I were, I would dress better.

City of Bones

Cassandra Clare

City of Bones

I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?"
"You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't."
"There goes my Saturday.

Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression.
"Are you all right?" Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing.

City of Ashes

Cassandra Clare

City of Ashes

Isabelle snorted. 'All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon.'
'You noticed' said Simon.
'I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual,' added Magnus.
'Please never say those words in front of my parents,' said Alec. 'Especially my father.'
'I thought your parents were okay with you, you know, coming out,' Simon said, leaning around Isabelle to look at Alec, who was — as he often was — scowling, and pushing his floppy dark hair out of his eyes. Aside from the occasional exchange, Simon had never talked to Alec much. He wasn’t an easy person to get to know. But, Simon admitted to himself, his own recent estrangement from his mother made him more curious about Alec’s answer than he would have been otherwise.
'My mother seems to have accepted it,' Alec said. 'But my father — no, not really. Once he asked me what I thought had turned me gay.'
Simon felt Isabelle tense next to him. 'Turned you gay?' She sounded incredulous. 'Alec, you didn’t tell me that.'
'I hope you told him you were bitten by a gay spider,' said Simon.
Magnus snorted; Isabelle looked confused. 'I’ve read Magnus’s stash of comics,' said Alec, 'so I actually know what you’re talking about' A small smile played around his mouth. 'So would that give me the proportional gayness of a spider?'
'Only if it was a really gay spider,' said Magnus, and he yelled as Alec punched him in the arm. 'Ow, okay, never mind.

Jace perched on the windowsill and looked down at him. "You really don't get this bodyguard thing, do you?"
"I didn't even think you liked me all that much," said Simon. "Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?"
"I thought it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy's house a night and throw up in his mailbox."
"I'm pretty sure that's not it

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

Hey," said Jace. who was sitting on an overturned speaker, looking at his cellphone, "do you want to see a photo of Alec and Magnus in Berlin?"
"Not really," said Simon.
"Magnus is wearing lederhosen."
"And yet, still no.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor, and he smells like windex."
"At least you know he's still available.

City of Bones

Cassandra Clare

City of Bones

The rat, huddled in the hollow of her palms, squeaked glumly. Delighted, she hugged him to her chest. "Oh poor baby," she crooned, almost as if he really were a pet. "Poor Simon, it'll be fine, I promise-"
"I wouldn't feel too sorry for him," Jace said. "That's probably the closest he's ever gotten to second base."
"Shut
up
!" Clary glared at Jace furiously, but she did loosen her grip on the rat.

City of Bones

Cassandra Clare

City of Bones

I wouldn't change it," Simon said. "I wouldn't give up loving you. Not for anything. You know what Raphael told me? That I didn't know how to be a good vampire, that vampires accept that they're dead. But as long as I remember what it was like to love you, I'll always feel like I'm alive.

City of Glass

Cassandra Clare

City of Glass

Jordan doesn't really care about the blood," Simon said now. "His whole thing is about me being comfortable with what I am. Get in touch with your inner vampire, blah, blah."
Clary slid in next to him onto the bed and hugged a pillow. "Is your inner vampire different from your...outer vampire?"
"Definitely. He wants me to wear midriff-baring shirts and a fedora. I'm fighting it."
Clary smiled faintly. "So your inner vampire is Magnus?

Just take the weapon you hold in your hand and drive it through his heart," Valentine's voice was soft. "One simple motion. Nothing you haven't done before."
Jace met his father's stare with a level gaze. "I saw Agramon," he said. "It had your face."
"You
saw
Agramon?" The Soul-Sword glittered as Valentine moved toward his son. "And you lived?"
"I killed it."
"You killed the Demon of Fear, but you won't kill a single vampire, not even at my order?"
Jace stood watching Valentine without expression. "He's a vampire, that's true," he said. "But his name is Simon.

City of Ashes

Cassandra Clare

City of Ashes

Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know.

City of Bones

Cassandra Clare

City of Bones

What have you done to my cat?" Magnus demanded... "You drank his blood, didn't you? You said you weren't hungry!"
Simon was indignant. "I did not drink his blood. He's fine!" He poked the Chairman in the stomach. The cat yawned. "Second, you asked me if I was hungry when you were ordering pizza, so I said no, because I can't eat pizza. I was being polite."
"That doesn't get you the right to eat my cat."
"Your cat is fine!" Simon reached to pick up the tabby, who jumped indignantly to his feet and stalked off the table. "See?"
"Whatever.

Thank you, Simon said. It’s a joke, Isabelle. He’s the Count. He likes counting. You know. ‘What did the Count eat today, children? One chocolate chip cookie, two chocolate chip cookies, three chocolate chip cookies . . .’
There was a rush of cold air as the door of the restaurant opened, letting in another customer. Isabelle shivered and reached for her black silk scarf. It’s not realistic.
What would you prefer? ‘What did the Count eat today, children? One helpless villager, two helpless villagers, three helpless villagers . . .

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

What's this?"
"That's a mango." Simon stared at Jace. Sometimes it really is like Shadowhunters were from an alien planet.
"I don't think I've seen one of those that wasn't already cut up," Jace mused. "I like mangoes."
Simon grabbed the mango and tossed it into the cart. "Great. What else do you like?"
Jace pondered for a moment. "Tomato soup," he said finally.
"Tomato soup? You want tomato soup and a mango for dinner?"
Jace shrugged. "I don't really care about food.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

Medium clever, Simon acknowledged. Like a cross between George Clooney in Ocean’s Eleven and those MythBusters guys, but, you know, better-looking.
I’m always so glad I have no idea what you’re vacantly chattering about, said Jace. It fills me with a sense of peace and well-being.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

You look lousy,' he said.
Jace blinked. 'Seems an odd time to start an insult contest, but if you insist, I could probably think up something good.'
'No I mean it. You don't look good.'
'This is from a guy ho has all the sex appeal of a penguin. Look, I realize you may be jealous that the good Lord didn't deal you the same chiseled hand he dealt me, but that's no reason to-'
'I am not trying to insult you.' Simon snapped.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

He looks," Simon had once said to Isabelle, "like he's thinking about something deep and meaningful, but if you ask him what it is, he'll punch you in the face.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

So you're trying to make her happy despite the fact that the reason she's unhappy in the first place is you," said Simon, not very kindly. "That seems contradictory, doesn't it?"
"Love is a contradiction," said Jace.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

I guess you're coming as my date now." Simon shoved the phone into his pocket.
"I'm secure enough in my masculinity to accept that," said Jordan. "We better get you something nice to wear, though," he called as Simon headed back into his room. "I want you to look pretty.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

They think they're better than everyone else."
"No," said Jace. "I think I'm better than everyone else. An opinion that has been backed up with ample evidence."
Kyle looked at Simon. "Does he always talk like this?"
"Yes.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

You’re here! Isabelle danced up to them in delight, carrying a glass of fuchsia liquid, which she thrust at Clary. Have some of this!
Clary squinted at it. Is it going to turn me into a rodent?
Where is the trust? I think it’s strawberry juice, Isabelle said. Anyways, it’s yummy. Jace? She offered him the glass.
I am a man, he told her, and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone, woman, and bring me something brown.
Brown? Isabelle made a face.
Brown is a manly color, said Jace, and yanked on a stray lock of Isabelle’s hair with his free hand. In fact, look – Alec is wearing it.
Alec looked mournfully down at his sweater. It was black, he said. But then it faded.
You could dress it up with a sequined headband, Magnus suggested, offering his boyfriend something blue and sparkly. Just a thought.
Resist the urge, Alec. Simon was sitting on the edge of a low wall with Maia beside him, though she appeared to be deep in conversation with Aline. You’ll look like Olivia Newton-John in Xanadu.
There are worse things, Magnus observed.

City of Glass

Cassandra Clare

City of Glass

Where's Simon?" Clary interrupted.
Isabelle wobbled. "He's a rat," she said darkly.
Did he do something to you?" Alec was full of brotherly concern. "Did he touch you? If he tried anything-"
No, Alec," Isabelle said irritably. "Not like that. He's a
rat.
"
She's drunk," said Jace, beginning to turn away in disgust.
I'm not," Isabelle said indignantly. "Well, maybe a little, but that's not the point. The point is, Simon drank one of those blue drinks- I told him not to, but he didn't listen- and he turned into a rat.

City of Bones

Cassandra Clare

City of Bones

We can buy you one of those books they have for little kids 'Timmy Has Two Dads'. Except I don't think they have one called 'Timmy Has Two Dads and One of Them Was Evil'. That part you're just going to have to work through on your own.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

Look on the bright side," said Simon, "If they need a human sacrifice, you can always offer me. I'm not sure the rest of you qualify anyway.

City of Ashes

Cassandra Clare

City of Ashes

I've noticed the Fair Folk often say 'perhaps' when there is a truth they want to hide," Clary said. "It keeps you from having to give a straight answer."
"Perhaps so," said the Queen with an amused smile.
"'Mayhap' is a good word too," Alec suggested.
"Also 'perchance,'" Izzy said.
"I see nothing wrong with 'maybe'," said Simon. "A little modern, but the gist of the idea comes across.

Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me? Vampire mojo strikes again.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

Simon looked from one of them to the other, and shook his head. When did you two get so buddy-buddy? Last night it was all, ‘I’m the most elite warrior!’ ‘ No, I’m the most elite warrior!’ And today you’re playing Halo and giving each other props for good ideas.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

You think she’ll be able to talk sense into him? she asked. His sister?
"If he listens to anyone, it would be her.
That’s sweet, said Maia. That he loves his sister like that.
Yeah, Simon said. It’s precious

City of Ashes

Cassandra Clare

City of Ashes

The more you try to crush your true nature, the more it will control you. Be what you are. No one who really loves you will stop.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

Oh, good. You're starting to talk about yourself in the third person. That's not a sign of impending megalomania or anything.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

Look, I asked you here for a reason. Much as I hate to admit it, vampire, we have something in common."
"Totally awesome hair?" Simon suggested.

City of Glass

Cassandra Clare

City of Glass

He's my neophyte Downworlder to mock and boss around, not yours.

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

I hope you told him you were bitten by a gay spider.

Isabelle waved a hand. "No need to worry, big brother. Nothing happened. Of course," she added as Alex's shoulders relaxed, "I was totally passed-out drunk, so he could really have done whatever he wanted and I wouldn't have woken up."
"Oh, please," said Simon. "All I did was tell you the entire plot of
Star Wars
."
"I don't think I remember that," said Isabelle, taking a cookie from the plate on the table.
"Oh, yeah? Who was Luke Skywalker's best childhood friend?"
"Biggs Darklighter," Isabelle said immediately, and then hit the table with the flat of her hand."That is
so
cheating!

WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?" There was a sound of shattering glass, and they both sat up to see Alec glaring at them. He had dropped the empty bottle of wine he had been carrying, and there were bits of sparkly glass all over the cave floor. "WHY CAN'T YOU GO SOMEWHERE ELSE TO DO THESE HORRIBLE THINGS? MY EYES."
"It's a demon realm, Alec," Isabelle said. "There's nowhere for us to go."
"And you said I should look after her-" Simon began, then realized that would not be a productive line of conversation, and shut up.

Isabelle and Sebastian? Hardly. Sebastian’s a nice guy – Isabelle only likes dating thoroughly inappropriate boys our parents will hate. Mundanes, Downworlders, petty crooks…
Thanks, Simon said. I’m glad to be classed with the criminal element.

City of Glass

Cassandra Clare

City of Glass

Yeah, well, you clearly also couldn't be bothered to call me and tell me you were shacking up with some dyed-blond wanna-be goth you probably met at Pandemonium. After I spent the past three days wondering if you were dead."
"I was not shacking up," Clary said, glad of the darkness as the blood rushed to her face.
"And my hair is naturally blond," said Jace. "Just for the record."
Simon, Clary, and Jace, pg. 115

City of Bones

Cassandra Clare

City of Bones

We need to talk, she said. All of us. About what we‘re going to do now.
I was going to watch
Project Runway
, said Jace. Its on next.
No you‘re not, said Magnus. He snapped his fingers and the TV went off, releasing a small puff of smoke as the picture died. You need to deal with this.
Suddenly you‘re interested in solving my problems?
I‘m interested in getting my apartment back. I‘m tired of you cleaning all the time. Magnus snapped his fingers again menacingly. Get up.
Or you‘ll be the next one to go up in smoke, said Simon with relish.
There’s no need to clarify my snap, said Magnus. The implication was clear in the snap itself.

City of Ashes

Cassandra Clare

City of Ashes

Simon stepped between them. I’m not going to let you fight with each other.
And what are you going to do about it if . . . Oh. Jace's gaze trailed up to Simon’s forehead, and he grinned reluctantly. So basically you’re threatening to turn me into something you can sprinkle on popcorn if I don’t do what you say?

City of Fallen Angels

Cassandra Clare

City of Fallen Angels

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