Santa claus Quotes


The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

The reality of loving God is loving him like he's a Superhero who actually saved you from stuff rather than a Santa Claus who merely gave you some stuff.

Apologetics    Christ    Christmas    God    Grace    Jesus    Love    Materialism    Mercy    Peace    Reality    Salvation    Santa claus    Sin    Spirituality    Stuff    Superhero

It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities. The theologians, taking one with another, are adept logicians, but every now and then they have to resort to sophistries so obvious that their whole case takes on an air of the ridiculous. Even the most logical religion starts out with patently false assumptions. It is often argued in support of this or that one that men are so devoted to it that they are willing to die for it. That, of course, is as silly as the Santa Claus proof. Other men are just as devoted to manifestly false religions, and just as willing to die for them. Every theologian spends a large part of his time and energy trying to prove that religions for which multitudes of honest men have fought and died are false, wicked, and against God.

Minority Report

H.L. Mencken

Minority Report
Argument    Assumptions    Atheism    Death    Devotion    Endurance    Energy    Existence    False    Honesty    Humor    Imbecility    Logic    Logicians    Martyr    Morality    Pragmatism    Proof    Ridiculous    Sacrifice    Santa    Santa claus    Sophistry    Support    Theologians    Truth    Value    Wicked

Do you know, it's really hard to be a parent. I blame it on Santa Claus. You spend so long making sure your kid doesn't know he's fake that you can't tell when you're supposed to stop."
"Mom, I found you and Calla wrapping my presents when I was, like, six."
"It was a metaphor, Blue."
"A metaphor's supposed to clarify by providing an example. That didn't clarify."
"Do you know what I mean or not?"
"What you mean is that you're sorry you didn't tell me about Butternut."
Maura glowered at the door as if Calla stood behind it. "I wish you wouldn't call him that."
"If you'd been the one to tell me about him, then I wouldn't be using what Calla told me."
"Fair enough.

Blue    Butternut    Lol    Maura    Raven boys    Santa claus

On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.

By first believing in Santa Claus, then the Easter Bunny, then the Tooth Fairy, Rant Casey was recognizing that those myths are more than pretty stories and traditions to delight children. Or to modify behavior. Each of those three traditions asks a child to believe in the impossible in exchange for a reward. These are stepped-up tests to build a child's faith and imagination. The first test is to believe in a magical person, with toys as the reward. The second test is to trust in a magical animal, with candy as the reward. The last test is the most difficult, with the most abstract reward: To believe, trust in a flying fairy that will leave money.
From a man to an animal to a fairy.
From toys to candy to money. Thus, interestingly enough, transferring the magic of faith and trust from sparkling fairy-dom to clumsy, tarnished coins. From gossamer wings to nickels... dimes... and quarters.
In this way, a child is stepped up to greater feats of imagination and faith as he or she matures. Beginning with Santa in infancy, and ending with the Tooth Fairy as the child acquires adult teeth. Or, plainly put, beginning with all the possibility of childhood, and ending with an absolute trust in the national currency.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

Agnosticism    Atheism    Belief    Beliefs    God    Gods    Kids    Santa    Santa claus    Skepticism

God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time.

Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don’t, who will?

Once upon a time, the Reindeer took a running leap and jumped over the Northern Lights.
But he jumped too low, and the long fur of his beautiful flowing tail got singed by the rainbow fires of the aurora.
To this day the reindeer has no tail to speak of. But he is too busy pulling the Important Sleigh to notice what is lost. And he certainly doesn’t complain.
What's your excuse?

Christmas    Excuse    Excuses    Holiday    North    Northern    Northern lights    Reindeer    Santa    Santa claus    Sleigh    Story    Tail    Tale

You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..."
"How about 'Dear Fatty'?

Though I adore the idea of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Sandman, the Tooth Fairy, and such luminary characters—especially their altruism and devotion—I still don't believe in them.  For I know the truth.  Only one such miracle worker exists who performs magic in my life, seeing to my wants and needs without fail.  That queen is my mother.  With unwavering faith I believe in her.

The real Santa Claus is at the mall.

The Lump of Coal

Lemony Snicket

The Lump of Coal


On Christmas.
"Santa Claus represents God on assistance," said Clyde.
"Santa Claus is a negative-idealed god, the pagan god of material worship," Leon stated. "Christmas means the rebirth, regeneration. Some people have Christmas every day. The Christmas tree stands up and either the wife trims it or they trim it together with righteous-idealed sexual intercourse. Or the husband prays to God through his Christmas tree and trims his bodily Christmas tree. Christ-mast; the mast of Christ, the upstanding penis—that's what it means to me."
"Santa Claus is a
good
symbolization for Christmas," said Joseph. "Department stores, shopping, the coming of the New Year. Christmas means better business in the stores.

Santa Claus is a lie but if you think that's bad, check out what 'fuck' really means.

Of course there is a Santa Claus. Its just that no single somebody could do all he has to do. So the Lord has spread the task among us all. Thats why everybody is Santa Claus. I am. You are.

Oh, and you must not forget the Kris Kringle. The child must believe in him until she reaches the age of six."
" I KNOW there is not Santa Claus."
"Yet you must teach the child that these things are so."
"Why? When I, myself, do not believe?"
"Because...the child must have a valuable things which is called imagination. The child must have a secret world in which [to] live things that never were. It is necessary that she BELIEVE. She must start out believing in things not of this world. Then when the world becomes too ugly for living in, the child can reach back and live in her imagination.

We half-eat cookies and drink the milk, we leave notes, all so kids will believe in something that isn’t true. Kids try their best to scientifically determine whether Santa's real and our whole culture feeds them false evidence. We dupe them.

Analysis    Dupe    Duping    Evidence    Santa    Santa claus    Science

Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It’s time for Santa to get serious.

Why thanks", Santa said. "you're awfully kind... (Though they are a bit snug ... on my ample behind."
"Don't worry," I told him, "you'll be all right...
Besides you'll need them Christmas Eve night."
So laying a finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight...
"They've RIPPED!
I knew these pants were too tight!

I have never tried to walk through a mall in the Christmas season dressed like a jolly old elf. You might as well dress up like a pork chop and walk into an alley full of starving dogs.

Children    Christmas    Dogs    Mall    Santa    Santa claus

The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney - not that we had one - suggested burglary more readily than generosity. Any Santa who tried it would have gotten a bullet in his holly, jolly keister.

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