Attachment Quotes


I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.

West with the Night

Beryl Markham

West with the Night
Anchoring    Attachment    Belonging    Future    Home    Homelessness    Leaving    Memories    Memory    Moving on    Past    Reminiscence    Roots    Uncertainty

Home's where you go when you run out of homes.

Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.

Attachment    Death    Loss    Worth

Perhaps home is not a place but simply an irrevocable condition.

Giovanni's Room

James Baldwin

Giovanni's Room

Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t should’ve done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!

Action    Attachment    Change    Inspirational    Letting go    Life    Live now    Motivational    Success    Today

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.

Winnie-the-Pooh

A.A. Milne

Winnie-the-Pooh

The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over.

Attachment    Control    Life    Miserable    Motivational    People    Sick    Stressed    Unhealthy

If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.

I've been doing this a long time- manipulating people to get my way. That's why you think you love me. Because I've broken you down and built you back up to believe it. It wasn't an accident. Once you leave this behind..... you'll see that. -Caleb

Maybe your country is only a place you make up in your own mind. Something you dream about and sing about. Maybe it's not a place on the map at all, but just a story full of people you meet and places you visit, full of books and films you've been to. I'm not afraid of being homesick and having no language to live in. I don't have to be like anyone else. I'm walking on the wall and nobody can stop me.

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached.

True love is not a hide and seek game: in true love, both lovers seek each other.

Affair    Affection    Attachment    Bond    Care    Caring    Close    Emotion    Emotions    Fellow feeling    Friendship    Friendships    Game    Hide and seek    Intimacy    Love affair    Lover    Lovers    Michael bassey johnson    Mutual attachment    Passion    Play    Relationship    Seeker    Sharing    True love    Truth

A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.

She was heartily ashamed of her ignorance - a misplaced shame. Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well−informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.

Northanger Abbey

Jane Austen

Northanger Abbey

[D]etachment means letting go and nonattachment means simply letting be. (95)

We are like children building a sand castle. We embellish it with beautiful shells, bits of driftwood, and pieces of colored glass. The castle is ours, off limits to others. We’re willing to attack if others threaten to hurt it. Yet despite all our attachment, we know that the tide will inevitably come in and sweep the sand castle away. The trick is to enjoy it fully but without clinging, and when the time comes, let it dissolve back into the sea.

As spiritual searchers we need to become freer and freer of the attachment to our own smallness in which we get occupied with me-me-me. Pondering on large ideas or standing in front of things which remind us of a vast scale can free us from acquisitiveness and competitiveness and from our likes and dislikes. If we sit with an increasing stillness of the body, and attune our mind to the sky or to the ocean or to the myriad stars at night, or any other indicators of vastness, the mind gradually stills and the heart is filled with quiet joy. Also recalling our own experiences in which we acted generously or with compassion for the simple delight of it without expectation of any gain can give us more confidence in the existence of a deeper goodness from which we may deviate. (39)

She might be without country, without nation, but inside her there was still a being that could exist and be free, that could simply say
I am
without adding a this, or a that, without saying I am Indian, Guyanese, English, or anything else in the world.

Though surely to avoid attachments for fear of loss is to avoid life.

Attachment    Life    Loss

Why was I holding on to something that would never be mine? But isn't that what people do?

Lunar Park

Bret Easton Ellis

Lunar Park

Practice giving things away, not just things you don't care about, but things you do like. Remember, it is not the size of a gift, it is its quality and the amount of mental attachment you overcome that count. So don't bankrupt yourself on a momentary positive impulse, only to regret it later. Give thought to giving. Give small things, carefully, and observe the mental processes going along with the act of releasing the little thing you liked. (53)
(Quote is actually Robert A F Thurman but Huston Smith, who only wrote the introduction to my edition, seems to be given full credit for this text.)

The secret self knows the anguish of our attachments and assures us that letting go of what we think we must have to be happy is the same as letting go of our unhappiness.

To empty the heart does not mean to not love. On the contrary, true love, as God intented it, is purest when it is not based on a false attachment. The process of first emptying the heart can be found in the beginning half of the shahada (declaration of faith).

It was told to me, it was in a manner forced on me by the very person herself whose prior engagement ruined all my prospects, and told me, as I thought, with triumph. This person's suspicions, therefore, I have had to oppose by endeavouring to appear indifferent where I have been most deeply interested; and it has not been only once; I have had her hopes and exultations to listen to again and again. I have known myself to be divided from Edward forever, without hearing one circumstance that could make me less desire the connection. Nothing has proved him unworthy; nor has anything declared him indifferent to me. I have had to content against the unkindness of his sister and the insolence of his mother, and have suffered the punishment of an attachment without enjoying its advantages. And all this has been going on at the time when, as you too well know, it has not been my only unhappiness. If you can think me capable of ever feeling, surely you may suppose that I have suffered
now
.

Mind control is built on lies and manipulation of attachment needs.
Valerie Sinason, (Forward)

People seem to get used to anything, and it is a short step from adaptation to attachment.

Where people are really attached, poverty itself is wealth.

Northanger Abbey

Jane Austen

Northanger Abbey

Why are...poor people more ready to share their goods than rich people? The answer is easy: The poor have little to lose; the rich have more to lose and they are more attached to their possessions. Poverty provides a deeper motivation for understanding your neighbors, welcoming others and attending to those who are suffering. I would go so far as to say that poverty helps you understand what happiness is, what serenity is in life.

Attachment    Attention    Christianity    Compassion    Empathy    Giving    Happiness    Motivation    Neighbor    Poor    Possessions    Poverty    Rich    Selfishness    Serenity    Sharing    Suffering    Understanding    Wealth    Welcoming

Most people are only as needy as their unmet needs.

When a thing becomes indispensable it's time to give it up.

Attachment    Freedom    Habit    Life

Time will generally lessen the interest of every attachment not within the daily circle.

Emma

Jane Austen

Emma

Materialism, attachment to things of the world, includes pride. Many religious people suffer from pride: taking pleasure or even delight in being good, or religious.

Attachment    Materialism    Pleasure    Pride    Religion    Sufi    Sufism

An attachment grew up. What is an attachment? It is the most difficult of all the human interrelationships to explain, because it is the vaguest, the most impalpable. It has all the good points of love, and none of its drawbacks. No jealousy, no quarrels, no greed to possess, no fear of losing possession, no hatred (which is very much a part of love), no surge of passion and no hangover afterward. It never reaches the heights, and it never reaches the depths.
As a rule it comes on subtly. As theirs did. As a rule the two involved are not even aware of it at first. As they were not. As a rule it only becomes noticeable when it is interrupted in some way, or broken off by circumstances. As theirs was. In other words, its presence only becomes known in its absence. It is only missed after it stops. While it is still going on, little thought is given to it, because little thought needs to be.
It is pleasant to meet, it is pleasant to be together. To put your shopping packages down on a little wire-backed chair at a little table at a sidewalk cafe, and sit down and have a vermouth with someone who has been waiting there for you. And will be waiting there again tomorrow afternoon. Same time, same table, same sidewalk cafe. Or to watch Italian youth going through the gyrations of the latest dance craze in some inexpensive indigenous night-place-while you, who come from the country where the dance originated, only get up to do a sedate fox trot. It is even pleasant to part, because this simply means preparing the way for the next meeting.
One long continuous being-together, even in a love affair, might make the thing wilt. In an attachment it would surely kill the thing off altogether. But to meet, to part, then to meet again in a few days, keeps the thing going, encourages it to flower.
And yet it requires a certain amount of vanity, as love does; a desire to please, to look one's best, to elicit compliments. It inspires a certain amount of flirtation, for the two are of opposite sex. A wink of understanding over the rim of a raised glass, a low-voiced confidential aside about something and the smile of intimacy that answers it, a small impromptu gift - a necktie on the one part because of an accidental spill on the one he was wearing, or of a small bunch of flowers on the other part because of the color of the dress she has on.
So it goes.
And suddenly they part, and suddenly there's a void, and suddenly they discover they have had an attachment.
Rome passed into the past, and became New York.
Now, if they had never come together again, or only after a long time and in different circumstances, then the attachment would have faded and died. But if they suddenly do come together again - while the sharp sting of missing one another is still smarting - then the attachment will revive full force, full strength. But never again as merely an attachment. It has to go on from there, it has to build, to pick up speed. And sometimes it is so glad to be brought back again that it makes the mistake of thinking it is love.
("For The Rest Of Her Life")

Angels of Darkness

Cornell Woolrich

Angels of Darkness

From the dear comes grief;
From the dear comes fear.
If you're freed from the dear
You'll have no grief, let alone fear.

Attachment    Buddhist    Fear    Grief    Loss    V 212

[Let] go of your attachments: your attachment to being right, to having total control, or to living forever. This process of letting go is integral to the process of becoming whole.

Space, like time, engenders forgetfulness; but it does so by setting us bodily free from our surroundings and giving us back our primitive, unattached state ... Time, we say, is Lethe; but change of air is a similar draught, and, if it works less thoroughly, does so more quickly.

Attachment    Body    Constraints    Forgetfulness    Freedom    Lethe    Liberation    Mind    Space    Time    Unattached

It is useful to study different traditions in order to be free of attachment to any one way of expressing what is beyond expression. (x)

Ich hab' noch einen Koffer in Berlin.

Although psychology and pedagogy have always maintained the belief that a child is a happy being without any conflicts, and have assumed that the sufferings of adults are the results of the burdens and hardships of reality, it must be asserted that just the opposite is true. What we learn about the child and the adult through psychoanalysis shows that all the sufferings of later life are for the most part repetitions of these earlier ones, and that every child in the first years of life goes through and immeasurable degree of suffering.

If ever you do go back, what is it you want of Evesham?"
"Do I know? [...] The silence, it might be ... or the stillness. To have no more running to do ... to have arrived, and have no more need to run. The appetite changes. Now I think it would be a beautiful thing to be still.

It is not the outer objects that entangle us. It is the inner clinging that entangles us." - Tilopa

Yes, a deep lesson from the postage stamp. It attaches itself to a moveable material, the envelope and gets going. A good relationship keeps you going forward; a bad one keeps you static. Attach yourself to someone who is also going forward and you will also get there.

If giving my everything is what it takes, I won't hesitate, not for even a second. That's what it means to have something you'd give your life to keep safe.

Je suis seul au milieu de ces voix joyeuses et raisonnables. Tous ces types passent leur temps à s’expliquer, à reconnaître avec bonheur qu’ils sont du même avis. Quelle importance ils attachent, mon Dieu, à penser tous ensemble les mêmes choses.

Attachment    Choses    Dieu    Ensemble    Nausea    Nausee    Opinione    Penser    Seul    Solo    Voce    Voix

It's harder to pick and choose when you're dead. It's like a photograph, you know. It doesn't matter as much.

American Gods

Neil Gaiman

American Gods

Dare to live by letting go.

At the most basic level, therefore, secure attachments in both childhood and adulthood are established by two individual's sharing a nonverbal focus on the energy flow (emotional states) and a verbal focus on the information-processing aspects (representational processes of memory and narrative) of mental life. The matter of the mind matters for secure attachments.

Abide not with dualism,
Carefully avoid pursuing it;
As soon as you have right and wrong,
Confusion ensues, and Mind is lost. (172)

Secure attachment has been linked to a child's ability to successfully recover and prove resilient in the presence of a traumatic event.

Attachment    Bonding    Capella university    Children    Love    Ptsd    Rad    Resiliency    Trauma

for to have a deep attachment for a person (or a place or thing) is to have taken them as the terminating object of our instinctual responses."
Separation anxiety. International Journal of Psycho-Analysts, XLI, 1-25 (1959(

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