The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Quotes

They formed an alliance of hate to steal a fortune in dead man's gold

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly



The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

59 Quotes    8.8 

A bounty hunting scam joins two men in an uneasy alliance against a third in a race to find a fortune in gold buried in a remote cemetery.







Quotes from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Blondie: You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

[Tuco is in a bubble bath. The One Armed Man enters the room]

One Armed Man: I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.

[Tuco kills him with the gun he has hidden in the foam]

Tuco: When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.

Tuco: [in the cave where his friends Pedro, Chico and Ramon are hiding] If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?

Blondie: [counting Angel Eyes' men] One, two, three, four, five, six. Six. Perfect number.

Angel Eyes: Huh. Isn't three the perfect number?

Blondie: Mm... yeah. But I've got six more bullets in my gun.

Tuco: [trying to read a note] "See you soon, id... " "idi... "

Blondie: [taking the note] "Idiots".

[He hand the note back to Tuco]

Blondie: It's for you.

[last lines]

Tuco: [shouting] Hey, Blond! You know what you are? Just a dirty son-of-a-b-!

Blondie: Every gun makes its own tune.

[to Tuco]

Blondie: [clicks his tongue] Such ingratitude, after all the times I saved your life.

Tuco: [thinking the cavalry they've met are Confederate] Hurrah! Hurrah for the Confederacy! HURRAH! Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General... what's his name?

Blondie: Lee.

Tuco: Lee! LEE! Ha ha! God is with us because he hates the Yanks too. HURRAH!

Blondie: [spits] God's not on our side because he hates *idiots* also.

[the commander of the cavalry patrol they've met reveals his blue uniform]

[surveying some Civil War carnage]

Blondie: I've never seen so many men wasted so badly.

Tuco: There are two kinds of spurs, my friend. Those that come in by the door; those that come in by the window.

Tuco: I never hurt anybody!

Officer: ...wanted in 14 counties of this state, the condemned is found guilty of the crimes of murder, armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices, the theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison, perjury, bigamy, deserting his wife and children, inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion, receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods, passing counterfeit money, and, contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned is guilty of using marked cards...

Tuco: [to Corporal Wallace] I like big fat men like you. When they fall they make more noise. And sometimes they never get up.

Tuco: There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend: Those with a rope around the neck, and the people who have the job of doing the cutting.

Blondie: It's not a joke, it's a rope, Tuco. Now I want you to get up there and put your head in that noose.

Tuco: You never had a rope around your neck. Well, I'm going to tell you something. When that rope starts to pull tight, you can feel the Devil bite your ass.

Tuco: I'm looking for the owner of that horse. He's tall, blonde, he smokes a cigar, and he's a pig!

Blondie: Two hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money. We're gonna have to earn it.

Blondie: You may run the risks, my friend, but I do the cutting. We cut down my percentage - uh, cigar? - liable to interfere with my aim.

Tuco: But if you miss you had better miss very well. Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive, he understands nothing about Tuco. Nothing!

[Chuckles, bites cigar]

Baker: Here, this is for you. You did a good job for me. Worth five hundred dollars,

[hands over a purse]

Angel Eyes: Oh I almost forgot. He gave me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you.

[they both laugh]

Angel Eyes: But you know the pity is when I'm paid, I always follow my job through. You know that.

Baker: Noo! Angel Eyes!

[Angel Eyes presses a pillow over Baker's face and shoots him through it]

Blondie: [With Tuco's gun pointed at him, Blondie has no choice but to let his new partner hang] Sorry, Shorty.

[a dying man has information Tuco wants]

Tuco: Don't die, I'll get you water. Stay there. Don't move, I'll get you water. Don't die until later.

Tuco: You want to know who you are? Huh? You want to know who's son you are? You don't, I do, everybody does... you're the son of a thousand fathers, all bastards like you.

Angel Eyes: [Tuco is about to be hanged] Even a filthy beggar like that has got a protecting angel.

[He sees Blondie watching]

Angel Eyes: A golden-haired angel watches over him

Union Captain at the Bridge: [to his surgeon] Can you help me live a little more? I expect good news.

Union Captain at the Bridge: Whoever has the most liquor to get the soldiers drunk and send them to be slaughtered... he's the winner.

Blondie: I mean our partnership is untied.

Tuco: [looks down at the noose still hanging from his neck]

Blondie: Oh no, not you, you remain tied. I'll keep the money and you can have the rope.

Blondie: If you shoot me, you won't see a cent of that money.

Angel Eyes: [frowning] Why?

Blondie: I'll tell you why.

[Blondie kicks the coffin lid open]

Blondie: Cause there's nothin' in here!

Bounty Hunter: [three bounty hunters have cornered Tuco] No! No pistol, amigo! It won't do you any good. There are three of us!

Mexican Bounty Hunter: [holding a wanted poster] Hey, amigo! You know you got a face beautiful enough to be worth $2000?

Blondie: [from behind them] Yeah, but you don't look like the one who'll collect it.

[Lights a cigar]

Blondie: A couple steps back.

[the bounty hunters draw their guns but Blondie guns down all three]

Tuco: I'll kill you!

Blondie: [gasps out in a whisper] If you do that, you'll always be poor... just like the greasy rat that you are.

Blondie: [appearing beside Tuco] Were you gonna die alone?

Blondie: If your friends stay out in the damp, they're liable to catch a cold aren't they... or a bullet.

[as they set out across the desert]

Tuco: What was it you told me the last time? Ah, yes..."If you save your breath I feel a man like you can manage it." And if you won't manage it, you'll die... only slowly. *Very* slowly, old friend.

Tuco: [tied up and laying on the porch of the sheriff's office, after being dumped there by Blondie as he walks in to collect his bounty money... then, the sheriff walk out] Who the hell is that? One bastard goes in, another comes out!

Tuco: Hey! Hey everybody look! He's giving him the filthy money! JUDAS! You sold my HIDE!

Union Captain at the Bridge: [swinging a bottle of booze] The most potent weapon of war!

Tuco: [trying to read a grave that is marked "Unknown"] Unk-... unk-... there's no name on it.

Blondie: [showing him the stone the name was supposed to be written on stone] There's no name here, either. See, that's what Bill Carson told me... it was the grave marked "Unknown" right beside Arch Stanton.

Jackson: [trying to tell in which grave the gold is hidden] There's no number... there's a name... it's written...

[chokes and gasps a couple of times, then]

Jackson: Water!

Tuco: You talk first, I'll give you water later! Sad Hill Cemetery, okay, in the grave okay! But it must have a name or a number on it! There must be a thousand, five thousand!

One-armed Union soldier: [Wallace and Tuco are at the train station, handcuffed together] Hey, corporal, afraid he'll get lost? Where's the Rebel going?

Cpl. Wallace: To Hell, with a rope around his neck and a price on his head.

Tuco: Yeah... three thousand dollars, friend. That's a lot of money for a head.

[He flips the soldier's empty sleeve]

Tuco: I bet they didn't even pay you a penny for your arm.

Sheriff: [shows Tuco the wanted poster] So you're an honest farmer. You recognize this man?

Tuco: Me?

Sheriff: Yeah, it's you!

Tuco: Hey, who said so, huh? You can't even read!

[the Sheriff rolls up the poster]

Tuco: Roll it up, roll it up! I'll give you a good idea where you can put it!

Blondie: The way I figure, there's really not too much future with a sawed-off runt like you.

Blondie: Put your drawers on, and take your gun off.

Tuco: [to Corporal Wallace] I told you once, friend, if I ever get you down, you're going to need a lot of help to get back up again!

Stevens: What does he pay you for murdering me?

Angel Eyes: Five hundred dollars... to get the name.

[first lines]

Stevens: You're... from Baker?

[Angel Eyes is silent, eating a bowl of stew and staring at him]

Stevens: Tell Baker that I told him all that I know already and I want to live in peace, understand? That it's no use to go on tormenting me! I know nothing at all about that case of coins.

[Angel Eyes stops eating and looks interested]

Stevens: Now that gold has disappeared, but if he'd listened we could have avoided this altogether. I went to the Army court; there were no witnesses. They couldn't uncover any more. I can't tell Baker what happened to the money. Go back and tell him that!

Union Captain at the Bridge: The Rebs have decided that bridge is the key to this whole area. Stupid, useless bridge! Flyspeck on Headquarters' maps. Headquarters has declared we must take that ridiculous flyspeck. Even if all of us are killed. Otherwise the key'll get rusty and just be a spot on the wall.

Union Captain at the Bridge: You'll all turn to dust,but one thing is sure, boys... Branston Bridge will stand unbroken.

Tuco: I would like to piss, it's rough. I've been shaking up in this train nearly ten hours now.

Cpl. Wallace: You smell like a pig already. Let's try not to make things any worse.

[He shoves Tuco to the carriage door]

Cpl. Wallace: Get going.

[Tuco stands at the edge of the carriage and pauses]

Tuco: I can't while you're watching me.

Tuco: Ah, my belly's full. Nice guy, my brother. I didn't tell you my brother was in charge here? Everything. Like the Pope, almost. He's in charge in Rome. Yeah, yeah, my brother, he say to me, "Stay, brother, don't go home. We never see each other. Here, there's plenty to eat and drink. Bring your friend, too." Whenever we see each other, he never lets me go. It's always the same story. My brother, he's crazy about me.

[His tone becomes wistful]

Tuco: That's so... even a tramp like me, no matter what happens, I know there's a brother somewhere who'll never refuse me... a bowl of soup.

Angel Eyes: [to Wallace] Be sure these two get good treatment.

Tuco: [innocently] Hey, Blondie. Did you hear that? Good treatment.

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